Dear "friend",

I don't know why you act as if I've treated you with anything less than the best kind of friendship I have to offer. And I still continue to try even though it proves over and over again to be a clear waste of my time. So why don't you call me when you're having problems or when you need something and I'll keep being here for you and we can both pretend like this friendship actually means something to you.

This is exactly what I meant when I said i didn't want to allow you to hurt me to the point where I have to feel this way about you. I never want to think anything of you other than good things...but I'm beginning to learn that there's a limit to how much mistreatment I can take from someone. Do you do this because you feel like I'm always going to be here for you despite what you say/do to me? If that's the case, and believe me I am sorry to say this, but I really don't think that's true. I would like to always be there but you're pushing me away and you have been for a while now. I guess this is what people mean when they say friendship isn't a one way street.

I expect less and less of you as a friend every time you disappoint me. You want to know why I don't expect anything from you? Because I don't want to feel disappointed and let down. How's that for an answer?




Edit --

"I have made a ceaseless effort not to ridicule, not to bewail, not to scorn human actions but to understand them"

I feel in the wrong for a lot of reasons. I mean I don't apologize for being hurt the way I was. Those were true emotions but taking a step back, I do realize that everyone has a reason to do what they do and I can't be upset at that. Maybe she hasn't been the nicest friend but I have to learn to accept her flaws and all if I want to call myself her true friend. She's a really good person and that's what I love most about her so I can't let this cloud my mind. I hope things work out for the best. I won't let myself get hurt but I can't put the blame on her. I'm trying my best to understand and I'm trying to do all I can. Thanks to the books and authors and music and artists in these past few weeks that have opened up my eyes and make me want to be a better person.
♥ ♥ &hearts