The feeling of never being good enough no matter how hard you try...really sucks. It's a familiar feeling but I am not gonna let that stay that way. I have to be in control of how people make me feel and I need to stay optimistic. I will smile no matter what :) And though I hate to admit it sometimes, I do know exactly what I deserve..
It sucks so much sometimes how much I miss him. I can actually feel my heart breaking. My friend asked me how I've been feeling and if I sit down and think about how badly I miss him, I could probably cry...but I don't think about it anymore. I simply refuse to let the thought even stay on my mind for longer than a second. And probably because of that, I've been doing just fine. I just hate how destructive my behavior becomes when I invest so many feelings into someone. I am in completely swimming in "da Nile" right now. Hahaha. It's okay though cause I know it's gonna be okay. Sometimes good things are good things simply because they don't always last forever..kinda like Starbucks seasonal drinks :) Yumm. Hahaha. Maybe I can't keep looking back wishing that I still have what I had. The bad thing about having someone that makes you so happy is losing them and I never again want to take for granted what I have in my life when I have it. You still and will always be an amazing part of my life and I will never forget.
It's time to move on...
kisses,
emmyish
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